I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I’m tired of getting bombarded with messages: “Make millions of dollars in passive income,” “Find your financial freedom by building an online course,” “Post 4 times a day to maximize your following,” and so on and so forth.
I realize that I’m nearly 40 years old. Perhaps it’s that milestone looming closer that has me pausing and really reflecting on my life. I did the “climb the corporate ladder” hustle for at least 15 years. I got my university degrees, one in science and the other in civil engineering. I hustled, worked hard, travelled where my company told me to, and yet, I was never happy in the truest sense of the word.
Yes, I had a husband, and our marriage was fine. Yes, I had three healthy, wonderful children (all boys, so yes, the chaos factor is high, but I’ve embraced it). We even have a cuddly Beagle, who has gotten so used to my being home that she has separation anxiety (thanks COVID). I was moving around the corporation I worked for, getting to try new things, leading projects, and leading corporate sessions. You’d think I would have been happy with my progress.
But something always felt like it was missing.
That’s when I turned to the “gurus” and “experts” like Brendon Burchard, Tony Robbins, and Dean Graziosi. They push you to strive harder, create content, and reach high performance – and I understand their message, I really do. However, it never fully sat right, either. Perhaps it was because these messages tend to come from people who either don’t have kids or have kids but have partners who are the primary caregivers.
I remember sitting at my computer, exhausted and lacking direction, feeling like a failure. Not because I didn’t have the shiny downtown office or corporate title but because I didn’t feel like I was contributing to something bigger. I didn’t understand the term “purpose,” let alone “passion”. I felt like not only was I failing as a corporate employee due to my lack of “fucks” (to be frank), but also as a mom. What was I teaching my children? That being miserable at a job is the life they should lead?
That’s why I quit. I woke up one Monday morning and opened my Teams and Outlook to see the latest messages streaming in about the pile of tasks to add to the ones that didn’t finish last week. I walked my kids to school while trying to listen to a Teams meeting, rushing back home to get my camera turned on. I remember ending my meetings and just sitting and looking at my computer. Looking at everything that my life revolved around.
Work. Tasks. Marketing. Hours of meetings that didn’t have a meaningful outcome. Brief moments of connections with people I’d never talk to again if I left the company (which turned out to be mostly true… a couple still message me periodically). Rushing my kids, rushing suppers, rushing to hockey practice to work on a laptop instead of watching.
I had enough. So, I quit and submitted my resignation that day. Did I have a plan on how to make an income without that job? Nope. Did I have another job lined up? Nope.
All I knew was that I was miserable, my life was draining before my very eyes, my time with my kids was disappearing too quickly, and I couldn’t do it like that anymore.
Now, this isn’t me saying that everyone feeling this way should quit their job. I have since realized there are ways to add joy and fulfillment to your life without quitting the job that pays the bills. However, looking back, I don’t regret one moment of it.
Are we rolling in money? Hell no. We are actually the poorest we have ever been in our entire relationship (my husband and I have been together for 14 years, married for 12). Are we miserable? Surprisingly, no.
We are the poorest we have ever been, but we are also the happiest we have ever been. Does money buy happiness? I can now honestly say NO. Does it help reduce worry and stress when trying to live in a society that keeps getting more expensive to just LIVE? Obviously, we are worried about those things, and I’m actively trying to find ways to mediate the current financial situation.
However, as I look at job postings and listen to these messages from people about “how to make millions”, I realize how much my mindset and perspective has changed in the past 18 months. I remember leaving thinking that I would make hundreds of thousands of dollars in my OWN company. I would hire a team of ten to twenty people. I would get thousands of followers. I would do everything those “gurus” say you should do, and I’ll finally be happy and make a meaningful impact!
As you can likely tell, that hasn’t happened (at least not yet to my knowledge).
Instead, I found that helping even one person a day – seeing a shift in their perspective or a change in their mindset – felt AMAZING. I gave away free coaching sessions when I started because I just wanted the experience. And those free sessions were unbelievable. I would leave the conversations smiling, fulfilled, and incredibly grateful that I had the time to have those meaningful conversations that helped someone else.
Do I want to keep having those sessions? Of course! Do I hope to start getting paid to do them? Hell yes. Do I want to make millions doing them? Hell no.
Given my freedom in time, my ability to spend time with my kids when they need me, to have breakfast with them EVERY morning, to help them with homework, attend hockey games, and plan birthdays – I am so grateful for this time with my family. Add in the loss of my last grandparent (my grandmother) and my mother’s breast cancer returning – I felt so blessed to have the ability to NOT WORK at all for those weeks and focus on family and self-care.
Outside of that, I have made amazing new connections and friendships. I have been learning non-stop about business, life, and spirituality. I published my first book and became an author for the first time! I am now actively working on multiple books that I hope will be published, or at least signed to become published, in 2025. That dream, which has been a dream since childhood, by the way, actually came true! One that I was never sure was even possible. And it is going better than I ever could have imagined.
So, when I look at these job boards, the hours they expect, and the small amount of money they want to give you, I feel a physical repulsion. I don’t want to return to that lifestyle. I don’t want to give up my freedom – and I mean true FREEDOM, not the financial freedom the “experts” say we should strive for. I found fulfillment, joy, adventure, and creativity. I found freedom with time – I can fill each day with however I want. I can help people find their joy, achieve their dreams, and connect with that inner part of themselves that they may have been ignoring.
I never would have reached this point, this massive milestone, in my life before turning 40 if I was still working at a corporate job. I have realized that an unconventional lifestyle is where I’m meant to be. And yet – it’s not making money (well, it is, just not in the amounts needed to pay for things like bills, groceries, and hockey fees).
So I’m turning back to the gurus and the experts to see what they say I should do to make money. And their comments about making millions and growing massive followings – I don’t want that either. I see that as another grind up a ladder that I’m just not sure I want to be on.
What’s wrong with making just enough to live comfortably while helping others find their authentic, fulfilling path, but also having time to create, write books, and spend time with family? What about wanting to work just enough to LIVE in every sense of the word?
Why has our society put so much pressure on us to make millions and have thousands of followers? What’s wrong with having a close-knit community that supports each other while helping each other grow and thrive but also embracing the freedom of time to truly be who you are with the people you care about?
Maybe it’s just me … but I want to simply BE for a while.
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